[Excerpt] Mary Geneva – Nicknames

[Excerpt] Mary Geneva – NicknamesNicknames: Tales from the Shallow End of the Manhattan Dating Pool by Mary Geneva
Published by Mill City Press on April 8, 2015
Genres: Self Help
Pages: 208


There are a million bad dates in the city that never sleeps.

Mary Geneva has been on 999,999 of them.

When she moved to Manhattan in her mid-20s, Mary imagined being single in New York City would be like something out of a Hollywood movie. And it was—a horror movie.

Nicknames is a look at some of the most hopeless, horrendous, and frequently hilarious dates you can imagine. Mary shares her true-life adventures looking for Mr. Right in the treacherous New York dating scene. You’ll meet men so bizarre, their names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Our cast of characters includes:

*Crazy Eyes, who didn’t just resemble an escapee from the local mental hospital, but proved he probably belonged there

*James Bond, the mysterious South African with the secret life

*Germ Sperm, a guy so classy, he actually named himself Germ Sperm!

And many, many, many more.

Part memoir, part self-help book, Nicknames will have you laughing out loud…and possibly abstaining from dating forever.

Hey all! I’ve got an excerpt for you today from debut author Mary Geneva! Her book, Nicknames: Tales from the Shallow End of the Dating Pool, is on tour with Bliss Book Promo & PR right now!! I’m also reading it this week and LOVING IT! Nicknames is all about Mary’s experience living and dating in NYC! My review will be up on Monday, but check out the excerpt below in the meantime!

Anger Management

I ran after him, only to be greeted with a temper tantrum that seemed more appropriate for someone in his terrible twos. My mind was racing. Was he bipolar? Did he have multiple personality disorder? Is this how it all started with Ted Bundy?

He screamed like a man possessed, right there on the street, ranting and raving about how he had taken me out to dinner three times and I had never even offered to pay. This, of course, was wrong, meaning he was completely delusional. More importantly, he was terrifying. He was a full foot taller than me and was screaming as if he was about to cut my throat right there in front of all of Chelsea.

I started to plan the quickest possible escape from what felt like certain doom. He kept yelling, moving on to the fact that I was “expensive” and “high maintenance.” Then, mercifully, he left me on the corner, but only after his unforgettable parting words: “This is why you are beautiful, almost thirty, and ALONE!”

I guess I couldn’t have expected him to put me in a cab to make sure I got home safely given how “high maintenance” I am. I couldn’t fathom what had just happened. Then I remembered he was from Jersey. What was my rule about dating guys from the “outer limits”? I made that rule for a reason: because they’re WEIRD!

Oh man! I don’t feel so alone in the bad dates world now. Good riddance to that one for sure! Have any bad date stories? Share them in the comments below!

Adios!

About Mary Geneva

Mary Geneva is a sales professional by day and a serial dater by night. Married at age 21 and divorced at 26, she and her cat Diva were left to learn how to balance their checkbook.

In Nicknames, Mary tiptoes back into the dating pool, accumulating many late night, drunken scraps of paper and text messages, outlining unbelievable—yet totally true—events. Knowing she couldn’t make this stuff up, she stored the memories away, and is finally able to share them with you.

Undaunted, Mary lives, works, and plays in NYC. When not dating, Mary can be found planning her next scuba diving adventure and hanging out with her pets, rescued pup Valentino and kitty Diva.

Mary also charges full speed ahead pounding the pavement, racing marathons and raising money to bring awareness of suicide prevention and outreach programs.

But nothing brings a smile to Mary’s face like her famous garlic roasted mashed potatoes, perfectly whipped mountains of starch, hoping to one day find the meat to her potatoes.

To unwind, Mary is on a mission to create the perfect martini!